If you’ve read my about me page or my Loving the Life I Never Wanted post, you know it’s no secret that Plan A for my life included having a family of my own as the foundation for everything else. That vision always included the idea of adopting children. At the risk of belaboring the point, life didn’t exactly play out the way I thought. Not news to anyone – good or bad. Just the way it is.
And while I am coming to terms with my life the way it is. I am kinda sorta content with my life. And yet, I can’t get away from the thought of adopting on my own. It’s been a thought that I’ve entertained on and off for the last 10 years. At 32 I thought, well if I find myself closer to 40 and still single, then I’ll think about it. Of course, that deadline has come and gone. And while nothing is ever permanently settled, my life is as settled as it’s ever been. Which leaves me asking, if not now, when? Do I have a real reason not to do this?
If I decide to move forward, I will explore adopting a child from the foster care system first. Since I’ve been a foster parent before, I at least have some experience with that system. Beyond the obvious obstacles or questions like finances, support systems; what are the real issues I need to contend with?
Issues I am thinking/praying through in no particular order:
1. What would people think. I hate to admit it but I care. If I adopt, I don’t want it to be seen as some big statement about what I think about traditional families. I know there are lots of opinions about whether single women should adopt or not. I have questions myself but I worry that people would project opinions on me that might not be my own. I realize I can’t control this one bit and probably shouldn’t let it worry me. But it does.
2. In view of the woman who put her adopted child back on a plane to Russia, I have to ask if I have what it takes to stick it out whatever comes even if there are seriously difficult issues.
3. Is this more about me needing to be a Mom than it is about a child who needs to be loved because I think any child deserves it to be more about them than it is about me. Maybe I’m too selfish after all these years of living a life that has mostly been all about me.
4. Is this me trying to play God? Is this me not wanting to take a ‘no’ from God as the final word. Is this a lack of faith or patience? What if the reason he didn’t give me the things I’ve prayed decades for is he has a different future in mind and I’m avoiding embracing it by forcing my own stubborn will.
5. I may be too old to start this. Some of my friends children have children. Really?! Can I be old enough to be a grandmother technically and seriously consider this?
What am I missing? Is this me over thinking or is it even possible to over think something this monumental? I’m open for wise counsel but mostly prayer support!